The Locker Room

Private Eye magazine have run the following article in their 12/05/06 - 25/05/06 edition:- (Page 6 'Street Of Shame') "Fleet Street crime hacks met their match last Sunday in a football game against senior police officers at Imber Court, the Met sports ground. They lost by two goals - and lost two players. In the first minute David Leppard of the Sunday Times was felled by a tackle from a northern chief constable and taken to hospital with a suspected broken ankle. The next victim was Daily Mail crime correspondent Stephen Wright, brought down by the flailing boot of Met commander John McDowall. He too ended up in hospital, with torn ligaments and a chipped an…

Dr Emma Carlyon, Coroner for West Cornwall, at an inquest in Truro, into the death of a Royal Navy seaman, told the jury that the sailor ''had shot himself while being surrounded by police, with firearms'. Is it just me reading too deeply, but is that not a side-swipe at the police. The sailor had written a letter to his father saying he was going to commit suicide, and had self harmed himself recently, and was suffering depression. Those words by the Coroner make insinuations that he wouldn't have killed himself if the police had not been there, she couldn't possibly know that, unless shes a mind reader. Another pop at the police.

One for the mathematicians to solve - we all know who is right, but as my daughter says - if you can prove something then it should be right! http://www.joe-ks.com/MultiMedia/Ma_Pa_Math.wmv

A man dies who has lived a good life. He rises up to heaven and meets St Peter before the pearly gates. Behind St Peter is a wall covered in clocks. "What are all those clocks Sir" asks the man. "those are lie clocks" replies St Peter, "Everytime a human tells a lie the hands on the clock move, mother Theresas never moved showing she never once told a lie, and Abe lincolnes move only twice showing he only told two lies in his entire life" "Wow" procaims the man "where is Tony Blairs clock?" "Jesus has that one in his office, he is using it as a ceiling fan"

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it...

hello all, only found this site today. i am a member of other police forums. im awaiting a start date for BTP and have been waiting since sept 2005.seems to be alot more indivudua topics here so better get cracking checking them out, cheers , Lee

Iv'e heard it all now. The Police in Glos won't let a PCSO ride on a bus from his home to his Village beat, until they have checked out the 'health and safety aspects'. What health and safety aspects for God's sake. They didn't have a car for him to drive so he offered to go by bus, but his Inspector said no. Is public transport in Gloucestershire that dangerous.

Dear all, I have never sent out an e-mail like this before but could I please ask you all to take a look at the the following website. It is www.jackbrownappeal.org Basically a Metropolitan police officer, Detective Sgt Yvonne Brown who is close friends with one of my colleagues, has a 4 year old son who has cancer. THE ONLY TREATMENT available is in the United States and will cost $350,000.00. If we dont raise the money he does not get the treatment, its as simple as that. If at all possible, I am asking that if any of you can then please pledge a small amount of money perhaps a £1 which will help go towards the treatment, every little will help. Thanks for your …

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. <?:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> His first task is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer wont be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself…

A young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming." He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nud…

just got my new boots original swat air zip 9's best boots ive ever owned the test now is too see how long they last i treat my boots pretty mean Rob

From MISCO 2GB USB Flash Drive. £29.36 plus p/p.

Not quite sure anyone would create something like this, I only got 6 right. Penby might be better with his farm experience? http://www.lskerton.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/sh*tormiss.html

Three murderers, nine rapists are 'missing' in this country because the Home Office failed to ensure they were deported after their prison sentence. Charles Clarke says he doesn't know where they are!!!!

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occas…