The Locker Room

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Things to do in an elevator When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" Whistle the first 7 notes to 'It's a Small World After All' over and over again. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then s…

I bet you never thought Coke had more than one use!!! http://eepybird.com/dcm1.html

Can anyone tellme how it would be possible for a UK Citizen living overseas can obtain a Police Check on any previous Convictions. This check is required to obtain foriegn nationality.

Whats everyone listening to today on your cd player,mp3 player, gramaphone or record player Chance for people to show there age a bit here My tunes at the mo are Frou Frou Fc Kahuna Jonny Cash

Poor old Tracey Temple, John Prescott's bit of Totty. She says she feels humiliated, and hung-out to dry by the Cabinet Office. She is now going to Max Clifford to get as much out of it as she can. Well Tracey, if you had used that 'one' braincell that you appear to have, and not started this adultery course, none of this would have happened, look in the mirror, you will see whose fault it was, don't try and blame everyone else. By the way, are you blonde and from Essex.

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old lady went up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady passed between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially…

Some PC idiot, on Torbay Coucil, has said that no more palm trees should be planted on Torbay sea front, as they have pointed leaves, and could be dangerous. He said, ''We don't want to be sued under Health and Safety Regulations, do we''. What planet is this idiot from?'

Another case of 'shooting ourselves in the foot'. North Yorkshire Police arrested a 64 year old grandmother, because she shouted at George Bush Snr, that his son was doing awful things in Iraq. Bush replied that he was very proud of his son(the Americans have a peculiar idea about being proud). If my son was a dumb as George W Bush, I would hardly be proud of him). The old lady was bundled into a police van, which hardly improves the image of the police in general. Another sad day when people cannot protest in our so-called democratic country.Maverick2238878.7047569444

An Irish Priest kept chickens in a coop behind the church. On Sunday morning prior to the service he went to feed his chickens and noticed the Cock was missing. He knew that cock fighting went on in the village and decided to tackle the problem during his sermon. He said, ''Has anyone got a cock'' all the men stood up. ''No sorry I didn't mean that, who has seen a cock'', half the women stood up''. Again he said ''I didn't mean it that way, who has seen a cock which doesn't belong to them''. Again half the women stood up. ''Sorry '' he said , ''I didn't mean it that way either, who has seen my cock''. Sixteen choir boys stood up, two priests and a goat.

according to a song heaven is place on earth . my heaven would be a sunny place with free beer and food , and access to sky sports showing 24hr soccer , all served by stunning maidens ............ any one else got any suggestions ????

I read from the official Labour Party financial report, that Cherie Blair spent £7,500 on hairdressing bills during the last campaign. Her excuse was that she visited 50 constituency parties during the run up to the election. That is an absolute disgraceful waste of money, I bet all the wives of other party members didn't get their hair done at the expence of the party. More money grabbing from the Blair's.

There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Wastefully-Overloaded-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, colleagues or anyone else DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will completely wipe out your private life. After coming into contact with WORK, immediately take 2 friends and head for the nearest bar. Here you will find the only known antidotes for WORK, Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE) and Bothersome-Employer-Eliminator-Rebooter (BEER). Use WINE or BEER repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do no…

Does anyone know if Teflon Tony used an RAF plane to go on holiday, or did he take a scheduled flight. He is having a 'freebie' in some Italian MP's home. He was meeting the Italian PM, Prodi, today to discuss Iraq, he may use that as an excuse to use an RAF jet, as he says he is having a 'working holiday.' One hour out of a week is a working holiday?????, that would not be my definition of a working holiday. Possibly another mis-use of RAF planes. Maverick2238870.3334259259

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!