The Locker Room

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power b…

Hello I just had to comment on your signature. It brought back some very happy memories for me. Twas a blast from the past...Nudge, Nudge, wink wink, nowhatamean! Good on ya!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich. Dispatcher: Excuse me? Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it. Dispatcher: Was anything else taken? Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it! Dispatc…

Served 12 years in the Met, moved to New Zealand in 1984. This a a great site for keeping in touch and for the humour, as black as some of it is of course.Glad to be part of it

Hi all - I am a Constable with the Calgary Police Service in Alberta, Canada. I have been lurking a bit on the forums, enjoyed the discourse here, and thought I may participate a bit. I have family who are ex-coppers from England, and still have a close connection to the UK even though I was born and raised in Canada. I enjoy this forum as well as some of the excellent UK Police Blogs in part because it reminds me of the universality of front-line policing. The other part is that it reminds me that there are a lot of problems that we here don't have (sorry). I know that there has been some talk on the forum from those interested in emigrating to Canada - feel free to …

And the bully boy tactics start again...... Firefighters will go on strike today with no military cover for the first time in nearly 30 years. Officials warned lives could be at risk when Hertfordshire fire crews ignore 999 calls to protest against cutbacks plans. Despite growing concerns, the Government has refused to provide soldiers to man Green Goddess fire engines - the standard contingency plan during a strike. Members of the Fire Brigades Union will walkout at 2pm for eight hours because of moves to axe posts and close stations. Hertfordshire's Chief Fire Officer Roy Wilsher urged residents and car drivers to be extra vigilant during the wal…

Hello People, I have just joined this forum so I thought I'd introduce myself here. I live in Wimbledon, SW London. I read an article within Wimbledon News about a police officer Mark Tuffey, who is facing charges of racial behaviour and threatening behaviour. I have also learned the same officer has previously been involved in the death of a member of public (Brian Douglas) in 1995. What upsets me is the fact that the police officer is still on duty. Why did he not get sacked? Can you tell me if he will be treated favourably due to his position? Do any of you have any views on this? I appreciate some of you may have inside knowledge, so won't be able to co…

While "flying" down the road yesterday (15 mph over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge, only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded. The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I w…

A colleague heard this today, so I thought I would pass it on. Four men were having a discussion to decide what was the fastest thing in the universe. One man said "It must be light, because as soon as you flick the switch, you can see the light, however big the room is." The second man said "It must be thought, because they pop into your head instantly." The third man said "It must be blinking, because things happen in the blink of an eye." The fourth man then spoke, saying "You're all wrong. The fastest thing in the universe is diarrhoea." The other three looked at him in surprise. "How do you work that one out?" The man explained "The other night, …

FSI specialize in ski property and are currently promoting property in all of the top French ski resorts as well as the up and coming Great value resorts in Bulgaria, where one bedroom apartments start at £ 40,000. As a great incentive, FSI are offering Police Oracle members up to £250 cashback on their traveling expenses to view property if they buy an apartment. For more information and for the terms and conditions applicable, please contact Andrew Beale on 01244 351011 or visit www.fsiproperty.com.

Gidday there. Just a quick intro. I'm a retired Kiwi cop still living in New Zealand and dwelling in the South Island. Those of you that frequent the "Off Duty" forums will already know me, as I have been a member there for a number of years now.

Hello one and all! I am a police officer from Essex, 21 years old, and finally got her after 3 years woohoo. I joined 21st november 2005, so I am still new kid on the block and learning a lot. I've always been logging on this site since I joined and thinks its wicked! I would like to make some new aquaintance's and welcome any advice you can all give me for my next 29 years he he. Looking forward to chatting to you all soon. Scotty!

My tyre was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tyre... I noticed your cat. Sorry. -------------------------------------- Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. -------------------------------------- Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... What the hell was I thinking? -------------------------------------- Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. -------------------------------------- How could two people as beautiful as you, have such an ugly baby? ------------------------------------…