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Every wondered what your shortened name would be if you played football for Brazil? Wonder no more! Brazilian Football Name Generator

Hi all. Im starting this topic as I have a problem. I really dont know what to do, so I thought maybe I should post it and see if anbody else can. My boyfriend (who I've never seen) last texted me on 21st May of this year. And since then his phone has been switched off. We never had a fight, and we were very much in love, so theres no reason that he wanted to break contact. I really dont know anything much about him, like his home phone number, his address or anything as such. I just know he lives somewhere in Halifax, hes a football coach for 11-16 year-olds. Hes turning 24 on the 1st of July. I wouldnt really have worried too much, thinking he just lost his phone …

Some creep has named a Rose after Cherie Blair. There must be some mistake, if it was a dandelion I could understand that, but NOT a Rose. which is a pretty flower, and that cannot be said about Cherie.

DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 (2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? (1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille, age 10 (2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. -- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age) HOW CAN A STRANGE…

Little Johnny on philosophy. A teacher asks her class, "if there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left"? she call on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot." The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a park bench havin ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the tripple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top a nd sucking the cone. The third is biting of the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher blushing a great deal, rep…

http://www.zippyvideos.com/2933364014597286/scottish_self_de fence_lessons/

Downing Street have confirmed that PRESIDENT Blair is going to order two aircraft for him and his Ministers, which the Queen will be able to use, as long as she pays for it.(thats fuel and landing fees etc) The cost will be 12.2 million a year to run, which includes crew salaries etc etc. It does not include the initial cost or depreciation. The 12.2 is 2.7 million more than it cost last year, so Teflon is happy to waste 2.7 million of tax payers money, so that he can be like President Bush. Blair is so arrogant and pompous its truly unbelievable that he is forking out all this money to make him look big. The two aircraft will cost well in excess of 150 millio…

I'm getting rather annoyed!! What do I have to do to pass the paper sift??

Answers people gave in quiz games: UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name? Contestant: Goosey, Goosey? THE WEAKEST LINK Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway. Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius? Contestant: <?:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Bombay. Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes? Contestant: Crocodiles. Anne Robinson: Wh...? Contestant (interrupting): Pass! Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen? C…

A man was out on a drinking evening with his mates, when they decided to go home he suggested they all went back to look at his new flat. They were all impressed with his flat, but were perplexed by a huge gong in the middle of the front room. Whats that gong for a mate asked. Thats my talking clock he replied. How does it work another asked. The man took a huge hammer from the side and wacked the gong as hard as he could. A voice came from next door, ''Do you have to bang that f.....g gong, it's one forty in the f....g morning, for f...s sake''.

The latest spin from Mr John Reid, stop moaning about YOBS and do something about it, thats members of the public, not the Police. He hasn't spelt out exactly what he wants members of the public to do about them. Lets see what happens when the first member of the public is murdered, or badly beaten up by a few yobs, or a MOP hits a yob and then gets arrested for assault, and says, ''I was only doing what the Home Secretary told us to do''. More Labour crap by the sounds of things.

The ultimate in revenge. Basically a guy bought a lap top off of e-bay, it was faulty and the specifications didn't match the seller's description. The buyer tried to get his money back but was refused. He finally managed to get the lap top working and put the findings (of the hard drive) on the web for all to see!! Scroll down the page when you get there - Please don't look if 'censored' pictures may cause you offence. Particularly concerned about the 'tube train' photos! Ultimate Revenge Truncheon38881.5424189815

Essex Girl is driving her Mondeo down the M11 when the in car telephone rings. Its her boyfriend John. He says, ''Tracey I'm just ringing to tell you to be careful, there is a car travelling along the M11 the wrong way''. '' Jesus John she shouts, theres not just one, theres hundreds of them''.

So much for Phoney Teflon Tony and his ethical government. The fact that two jabs Prescott was bonking his secretary, is as Tony puts it ''A private matter'', and nothing requiring his resignation. It was a different matter when they were in opposition, I recall several Conservative MP's resigning over illicit affairs, after Labour hounded them.(watch it BAF you may be required to resign).Maverick2238833.7274768519