The Locker Room

How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb? 1) The light bulb doesn't need changing, it's the system that needs to change. 2) None. Social workers never change anything. 3) None. They empower it to change itself! 4) None. The light bulb is not burnt out, it's just differently lit. 5) None. They set up a team to write a paper on coping with darkness. 6) Two. One to change the bulb and another to put your kids into care. 7) Five. One to screw it in, three to form the support group, and one to help with placement.

Bullet Proof vests aren't. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They also punch, kick and choke harder too. The speed at which you respond to a fight call is inversely proportionate to how long you've been a cop. CS Spray works on cops too, and regardless of wind direction, will always blow back in your face. Placing a gun back in a shoulder holster with your finger on the trigger will cause you to walk with a limp. [For our Floridian colleagues] lf you have 'cleared' all the rooms and met no resistance, you and your entry team have probably kicked in the door of the wrong house. If a cop swings a baton in a fight, he will hit other cops more o…

As you can see from my picture I race a lot. Currently in the TV recruitment process.

1. Memory was something you lost with age 2. An application was for employment 3. A program was a TV show 4. A cursor swore 5. A keyboard was a piano 6. A web was a spider's home 7. A virus was the flu 8. A hard drive was a long journey 9. A mouse was something the cat brought in 10. If you had a 3.5" floppy you kept quiet about it

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're goin…

http://www.policeoracle.com/news/detail.cfm?id=11036 Suspended Sentence For Burglar Bitten By Parrot 04-Aug-06 A burglar caught after the parrot he stole bit him, leaving a trail of blood, was yesterday given a six-month suspended sentence and ordered to undergo treatment for alcoholism.... A burglar caught after the parrot he stole bit him, leaving a trail of blood, was yesterday given a six-month suspended sentence and ordered to undergo treatment for alcoholism. Frome magistrates heard that the parrot bit Tristan Maidment, 23, of Edington, Wiltshire, leaving enough blood for police to obtain a DNA sample. Maidment admitted burglary at a …

The TV Executive, D. Evans, has had his jail sentence cut by the appeal court, saying three and a half years for death by dangerous driving, was excessive. Evans ran away from the scene, as he feared failing a breathtest, and didn't give himself up until the next day. A coward like Evans deserved a seven year term at the very least. Judges don't put much value on a life these days.

Hi i have a final interview later this week with Leicestershire, does anyone know what i should expect??keeliaa38930.4341087963

JUST WANT TO SAY HELLO. I'M A NEW MEMBER FROM THE UNITED STATES. AT PRESENT I AM A CORRECTIONAL POLICE OFFICER IN NEW JERSEY AND AM TRYING TO MAKE THE MOVE TO NEW JERSEY PARK POLICE (FORMERLY STATE PARK RANGER). I HOPE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE CHAT IN THE FUTURE BUT FOR NOW JUST WANT TO WATCH THE EXCHANGES BETWEEN MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN BLUE. & nbsp;

Finally got round to finding time to read some of the threads, so thought I would introduce myself as well. I'm a Sergeant in Notts, and so looking forward to posting messages here and not being told I'm not working hard enough and that I'm a bad cop, just cos' of the city where I work. The media are such nice people and do so much for staff moral, but I'm not letting it get to me, I've just got 13 yrs 3 mths and 28 days till I retire!!! Not that i'm counting

As you may notice, this is my 1st post within this forum. I nearly posted this topic in the wrong section. (General Chat) But just happened to scroll down and notice an intro section: Well here I am. Can I say - I am here in South London for 5 months. I reside in Perth, WA. I do plenty of driving as part of my job. Throughout the day I have noticed numerous motorists from what appears all different backgrounds without any seatbelts. Surely this is illegal here. I mentioned this to a collegue (and UK resident) who told me police rarely stop people who don't wear them. If it is illegal and you do stop a motorist, what excuse would they give for not wearing one …

http://www.holylemon.com/content.php?id=65

To an old retired fart and dinosaur like me, the red mist appears when I see that it has now become acceptable to wander the beat without helmet or cap. On the rare occasion when headgear is worn it is usually on the back of the head emulating muppet like soap actors from The Bill. Even the Commissioner can't get his cap badge central. Is this 21st century 'right image policing?' Or is it me? Disgusted of Tunbridge

Get your applications in Ever fancied emigrating to Australia. Seriously You still have 2 days to get your application in to WA Police. I know it seems a tall order but with Aussie visas as rare as rocking horse s**t this is a golden opportunity. check out this link www.stepforward.wa.gov.au/international_applicants.php remember 2 days only

A 44 year old PC who was celebrating promotion crashed his own car, then took a marked police vehicle, whilst twice over the drink/drive limit. He pleaded guilty and looks as if he will lose his job and his pension. Some people never learn.