The Locker Room

Here's the latest idea from the wonderful people at Whitehall. Crime based council tax Basically, if you live in a low crime area, with good schools and facilities, you will pay more. Time to move to one of those poor performing force areas

Ladies and gentlemen (but especially the ladies) This will probably be the last post I shall write as a young hip swinging eligible batchelor. Soon I will be off to India to have a cut price operation libido tuck (i totally refute the allegations about attending free love parties and celebrating my 30th birthday). Those of you with daughters can now rest safe... Its DIY all the way from now on, (oh do stop sniggering) I will probably be back in three weeks time, older and wiser and very much more senile Will miss you all... BAF

Hello all. Due to other committments or just plain laziness, I have a spare ticket to a Gig in Brixton tonight. Any takers? Its Zero 7 by the way...its very chilled out music that even grandads will appriciate. So if you're reading this then please PM me. Cheers Over and out.

Pick the one that fits you best for today's mood and wear it proudly.

Help!.....I have an annoying fly (its the daddy long legs type which are scarey) in my room....don't want to kill it...have opened all the windows but it won't fly out! I have tried burning citronella candles and that doesn't work..... I have a new spider plant and cheese plant in my home....do u think its attracted to that???? I can't sleep.....even with all the God damm lights off it is still pattering away on the wall or light ...is this fly on speed.???? It is 12.32 midnight and I want to sleep!!!! The stupid thing is now head butting its stupid head and its spangly legs on my screen..where does it get the energy from...luckily I have a wireless keyboard so typi…

Can I just bounce around with joy, as Mrs Sneaky has given birth to a healthy happy little Sneaky Beaky. The bags under my eyes are growing deeper, and my ears damaged by occassional wailings. He also has developed an entertaining habit of of peeking out of one eye before trying to let on to everyone that he is awake. Surveillance aware within a week!! But, I am so grateful to the splendid hospital staff who assisted to look after them both. .............and a thought I am now to confront in my position, and appreciate other Old Bill Mum's and Dad's out there; how do you make the job mould to your new family responsibilities?

The House of Commons Gravy Train has just pulled out of the station having been there for a year. MP's expences topped 86 million this year, an average of £131,000, per MP. Blair took £87,000, Cameron £135,000, Gordon brown £134,000, Prescott £115,000. The most was £176,000 by some almost unknown MP. Snouts in the trough comes to mind. Can't see us getting our 3% pay rise, the money will be needed for next years gravy train.

This may be just a rumour, you understand, but when Madonna arrived back in England from Malawi she was supposed to be upset at finding out that the people in the next village from where she got David from had been running a special offer - buy one get one free.

Does anyone know what happened to Outrageous. Last heard he was off to have his nose fixed. I think that was in Sept sometime. I always found his posts quite funny and funnily enough a little bit outrageous

I see on the BBC News page that super bitch, Naomi Campbell, has been arrested again for assaulting her councellor. I think the woman has a screw loose, she is always in trouble. Time she received a custodial sentence to calm her down a little. People like her think they are above the law, she needs bringing down a peg or two.

Just 'tongue in cheek, really, no truth in the matter, honest!!.......but.... 'there never a truer word spoken in jest"!! __________________________________________________ . "....It has been leaked to the Press, that a New Treasury 'Think Tank' is discussing ways of raisng more Tax Revenue for the Treasury in the light of the recent criticism of the UK's economic policy by the IMF (International Monetary Fund). The economic correspondant of the "Daily Blah" has been handed a 'secret document' stating that Gordon Browne has approved plans to charge a 'Personal Carbon Footprint Tax' on all United Kingdom adults over the age of 18 years a flat rate tax of £200-00 per year.…

Howdy all. Nice site this, found it through a weblink off my force intranet, so they can't complain about me reading it at work eh? I'm a former police officer who's now civvie support staff working as a financial investigator on the economic crime unit/fraud squad. Nice to meet you all. I know just enough about policing and financial crime to be dangerous! Mind how you go. POCA39011.9411689815

Barbequing as it should be done After a long winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... 1) The woman buys the food. 2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging besi…

That irratating swan vestas sized ginger top, Hazel Blears,(remember her, the ex police minister) has been sucking up to Teflon Tony at the Labour party Conference at the G-Mex Centre in Machester. it nearly made me puke over my keyboard. You should have heard her speech, saying what a wonderfull PM he was etc etc etc. Pass the Bucket please. Maverick2238984.8220023148

Use this post to announce what class you are moving up to. IE: Muppet - Billy Basic - Van Driver etc With this Post I become Level II Bomber command