The Locker Room

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. ChickenSoup2008-01-03 23:35:21

Last night I had a visit from my female cousin, Caroline, who is exactly my own age and also happened to be my absolute best friend both at school and at home up to the age of 12. We were inseparable as kids - closer than many siblings. She moved to Canada when I she was 12 and I hadn't seen her since - until last night. I knew she was coming because she had written to me and I was looking forward to it. My son and his partner and my eldest daughter and her partner had also taken the trouble to be there to meet my long lost cousin who they had heard so much about. What I had forgotten was that her dad, my uncle, was an avid photographer and amateur film-maker and he…

I've heard it all now, a fireman at the Scottish Firefighters Training School, is sueing the Scottish Authorities, because he was injured while playing football for the Instructors and Trainers Eleven, against some students. Fortunately the Judge hearing the case kicked it into touch, with costs against the fireman, The Judge was critical of the fireman saying that he played at his own risk, and the Fire Service could not be held responsible for his injury, he also criticised him for bringing the case, as an earlier ruling by another Judge had been the same. Some people never give up.

I had to read this several times because I thought it was a joke, but apparently its true. Someone from Essex might be able to confirm. A woman rang 999 to complain about leaves on her driveway, complaining that the man next door was responsible. Two police officers attended the scene, and found that the WIND had blown leaves onto her drive. The next door neighbour was completely exonerated. A near neighbour complained that the police arrive at her place within minutes for trivial matters, but when a burglary was reported in the road, it took the police four hours to turn up. According to locals this woman gets priority treatment for some reason. I'm sure Essex Police…

A car driver has been killed in Scotland when his car was hit by Fire Engine tender, which turned right across his path. The Fire engine did have its lights and horns in operation, but that does not guarentee right of way. I have dealt with one fatal involving a fire engine, which was travelling too fast for the conditions. Some Fire Brigade drivers seem to think that the blue lights and horns are a guarantee of safety and press on regardless. When I did my Instructors Course we had a fireman on the same course who reckoned all fire brigade drivers should attend Police Driving Schools(to Traffic Officer Standard) and learn how to drive properly, but it never happened, be…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwQV_JJXulM&mode=related&search

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwibL4TgKCI&mode=related&search

There was a thread on Oracle regarding an Essex officer who was en route to call with a female officer, when he told her to stop the car so he could carry out a sex act on himeself. I read yesterday that he has been told to expect a custodial sentence. Was anyone aware that it had gone that far, I thought internal discilinary action was a certainty, but I never realised it had gone further, if true. The officers name was printed in full, but the news report seems to have been taken off Ceefax.Maverick222007-05-25 11:48:27

...that courts and tribunals can make sensible decisions at times Woman gets suicide advice payout Basically, a woman working in a Citizen's Advice Bureau gets a call from someone who states they are going to top themselves. The CAB worker phones the caller's doctor, who intervenes, treats the suicidal woman and puts her back on the road to recovery. The CAB worker gets the sack for breaching confidentiality rules, which state she should have informed her manager, who would have convened a committee to decide whether or not to pass the information on to a doctor. Quite rightly, the tribunal have decided against the CAB (I wonder if the employee went to the CAB …

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her licence. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my licence and then today you expect me to show it to you." http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/5383756.stm Any more?

We all have various name for the plebs etc who we deal with both MOPs and other officers... Here are my two favorits from my shift Cheeser Chump Please add your own

Here are 12 of the finest double-entendres ever aired on British TV & Radio. Finbar Saunders eat your heart out! 1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator: "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!" 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator: "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him." 3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother." 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew." 5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the…

A big enquiry is going on in Torrington, Devon, as to why it took an ambulance 1 hour and 15 minutes to arrive at a fatal RTC, on the A386, at Torrington. One person burnt to death, and another suffered serious head injuries, and had to be flown to Plymouth Derriford Hospital. An ambulance spokesperson said , ''we sent what we considered was an appropriate response''. Devon and Cornwall sent five officers to the scene, in five seperate vehicles, and the fire brigade arrived within minutes but were too late to save the driver of the burning vehicle. There may be abit more to this story 'than meets the eye', no doubt it will all come out in the enquiry.Maverick2220…