The Locker Room

Gorge W. Bush, President of the United States, has resigned, according to the websites of the New York Tomes, Washington Past, and Woe Street Journal. Goggle's news servers are so busy they have all crashed. So far almost one hundred letters of congratulations from foreign leaders have poured into the What House. A flash poll in 60 countries by the Galluping Organization showed that Bush's popularity overseas has rebounded from all-time lows to new highs after word of his departure spread in seconds via the internet. Vigilant TV crews filmed Bush and his wife waving goodbye to the cameras as they stepped into the official helicopter which would start them on ye…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5C9zuVIwDI

Saw this on jokes4all.net and thought I would share it. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Porsche back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some he…

Russian Church ends 80-year split The Russian Orthodox Church Abroad has reunited with the Russian Orthodox Church after 80 years of schism sparked by the Bolshevik revolution. The move was sealed by Patriarch Alexy II and the head of the Russian Orthodox Church Abroad, Metropolitan Lavry, at an elaborate ceremony in Moscow. The above is from a BBC news item. But what is the one on the right really saying? You run off again like that and I'll spank you so hard you won't sit down for a week?

What do you do. Set the scenario.... You have been invited out to a meal or a visit to folks you don't know. All jolly 'old hockey sticks'... good conversation and all that, nice cup of tea -- Cucumber Sandwiches etc. Then, AAArgh!! It dawns on you that you are going to be caught short.... My gaaawd!! ... You need to have a 'Number 2'...a 'Dump'!! it was the 8 pints of Broon Ale and Kebabs consumed the night before!! You are desparate... so You ask your host if you can use the 'Boys Powder Room'.... agarh! ... relief thinks You. You go and find the 'Khazi'..go in lock door, take strides/skivvies down etc and have one gi-mungous 'dump'!! total releif now!! Unfortunat…

Pet hates..... one was 'Little Old Grannies' in the supermarket check-out queue faffing about in the shopping bags looking for their purses.... taking out their photos of Grand children then 'yakkity yak!!' with the checkout clerk about family, corns, pets, family corns pets..... then getting bad temepred when someone loudly asks them when they are going!! Now I am doing the same thing.... faffing about for my wallet or Debit Card.... joys of getting old. ... other pet hate is 'Wimin' holding gossiping contest in the local 'WH Smiths' and blocking the ganway between magazine racking.... or standing in the main entrance doing the same..... Young mother with t…

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6661717.stm In the light of the decision to allow a limited experimentation with human animal hybrids, I was wondering.... If you could clone yourself and produce a hybrid, which animal would you want to be hybridised with, and what traits or abilities would you hope to gain? Obviously it would have to be a fox for me; an animal that's sneaky, at home in rural and urban enviroments and fond of kebabs. I would like a nice non-mangy red coat please!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SraRU5oD17c&mode=related&search http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Aqlb-mVdis&mode=related&search ("Hello Randy. How're you feeling kid?")

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synchronicity Has this ever happened to you? I was adding up some numbers yesterday.....and the total came to 326 and then I looked up at my computer clock...and guess what time it said...3.26pm...how creepy is that? Why does that mean???? And whilst I am on about theories. and creepy stuff...can someone explain to me in plain English the Butterfly Effect....in plain English....so I can understand..Ta!!!!

Can i just say ........... there has been a sad lack of interesting, humorous and challenging topics recently ! Among my gripes are the ridiculous amounts of duplicated threads relating to "in the stocks" (found in both general chat and humour forums ). We can currently find 5 threads relating to just this one topic ( which i find disturbingly similar to some sort of Dungeons and dragons game ) .......... those currently listed are ; 1. The stocks as a form of punishment 2. Poll - The Stocks M&MBM 3. Poll - Who dunnit ? First Poll ( god help us - are there going to be more ? ) 4. Who Dunnit ? 5. Releasing M&MBM …

A police woman was stabbed today while investigating a man throwing objects off a bridge onto a dual-carriageway. The man ran off when challenged by the police officer and was cornered in a wooded area, where she was stabbed in the arm. She has a serious stab wound. A 30 year old man has been arrested over the incident. The Police woman is from Thames Valley and the incident was near Newbury. Lets hope she recovers quickly.

That nasty bit of work, Dorothy Evans, 81 years, of Wales, has been sent to prison for six months, the Judge said it would have been longer if she had been younger. She already has an ASBO for intimidating her neighbour, and once tried to force her of the road, as well as using foul and abusive language. Evans failed to attend court on three occasions, each time going to hospital on the pretext she was ill. The Judge had had enough and she was arrested and brought to the court. Lets hope she learns by her time inside. She is known locally as the 'neighbour from hell'. Some of these old codgers think they are exempt from the laws.

Does anyone else here go geocaching?

http://www.newstatesman.com/200704300017

''I did it my way'', by Toni and the Blairites. ''Your so vain'', By Gordon and the Gofers. ''Is this train the Frankfurt Special'', Blunkett and the Tickets. ''Stupid Girl'', by Patricia and the Interns. ''Postman Pat'', Alan Johnson and the Lettermen. ''Ugly Mug'', Margaret and the Moonies. ''Release me'', Archer and the Keys. ''Out of Control'', Reid and the Marsham Boys.