The Locker Room

Only a few months left to the end of the year....has everyone achieved what they wanted to achieve this year....

A Mr Bayliss and his 22 year old son were waiting for a taxi when a thug, for no reason attacked the son, kicking him in the face, knocked him unconscious. He was taken by ambulance to hospital. The father rang the police on the 999 system, to be told by the call handler, ''we have more important things to deal with, if you don't like it tell your MP''. The Police did actually arrive 50 minutes later. The Supt in charge of the district said, ''the call handler will receive professional development''. He should have said, ''we have sacked him/her''. The police may have been very busy that night but there are more suttle ways of dealing with people.

is it time to ditch white shirt / black tie & stupid trousers in favour of practical boiler suits with bloused legs, soft headgear (beret/cap etc), given the type of work we do nowadays ? I think it would be sensible (though baseball caps & reflective bomber jackets on older staff look stupid in my eyes, so I dont favour them particularly) ...dog handler / support group kit would be my choice for everyone

Which style does your employer use?

C'mon lets have 'em..... 1) You're father must have been a robber to steal the stars and put them in your eyes. 2) Grab your coat you've pulled. 3) Heres twenty pence. Call your mum and tell her your not coming home tonight. 4) If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together. 5) I'm no Fred Flintstone but I will make your bedrock. 6)If you were a Mcdonalds burger you would be a McGorgeous. 7) Nice legs, when do they open? 8) I'm arresting you for trespassing in my dreams. 9) Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 10) My love for you is like diorrhea... I can't hold it in. 11) There is a party in my pants and you're invited.....

A baby elephant could walk through the aorta of a blue whale? The length from your wrist to your elbow is the same as the length of your foot. Your heart beats 101,000 times a day. During your lifetime it will beat about 3 billion times and pump about 400 million litres (800 million pints) of blood. Your mouth produces 1 litre (1.8 pints) of saliva a day. If you spelled out numbers starting form one upwards you would get to one thousand before using the letter A?" One hundred And one. A few centuries ago mattresses were supported by ropes. When you pulled the ropes it would tighten up the mattress to a suitable comfort, hence the saying "Goo…

What is your definition of a snob? And do you ever feel like when you meet a group of people...that your gut reaction is u don't fit in, or they are patronising you in an ever so nice way? I don't know why I'm thinking about this at 9.27am in the morning.... And is it me.....or do you think that there are two different worlds that we live in....you read all these government reports, laws, scenarios, research by top academics ...on the ideal thing to do.....and then you step out into reality and you see no one gives a toss , most people are just trying to get by without all the red tape and bureaucracy...sometimes I just feel that posh, nerdy academics have this airy f…

The most I've had was 2 doubles & they gave me the shakes & made me very hyper & chatty But this girl had a quite serious reaction.... I never thought you could actually overdose on coffee We best cut back Butters! Girl*Next*Door2007-08-17 12:06:08

It is incredibly quiet here on the forum ........ i assume that everyone is either working for Queen and Country , or indulging in a spot of ray catching !!! So ...... what are we all doing today ??? I'm off for a familly barbecue and some ray catching myself ...... and hoping to go to the beach for a swim when i get back ...by that time all the oiks will have wandered off home ....... exmetskipper2007-08-05 09:40:41

In the office yesterday, one of the women came around to do a tea run. In response to the question "Want a cuppa?", some office wit replied "Is the Pope a catholic?" A further wit responded "That is a matter for some debate." The woman, a blond, purely by coincidence, then said "Ah! Well, no, actually, he's German, isn't he."

100K...

Not sure if in the correct part of the forum but.... Female rang in last night to report she had been assaulted by her husband. To cut a long story short, both were nicked because allegations were made against each other of the same nature. After the couple were dealt with in custody AND TAKEN HOME, they left an unopen packet of fags in the motor. When I drive out of my way just to return them to the couple later I get told (and I quote) 'Haven't you embarrassed us enough by coming here in the first place? You could've kept the cigarettes instead of harassing us with your presence again'. Why do we bother?

The Mets have just issued a statement, that their operation against Brian Haw, who has a permenant protest site in Parliament Square, cost the ratepayers of London, £111,000. 78 Officers were involved initially to remove one man and his placards, plus a further 385 were involved in high vis patrols after his removal. That is a complete waste of taxpayers money and those officers could have been involved in tackling real crime. It would be interesting to know who the senior officer was who sanctioned the operation. The Mets lost their case in court and Haw was told he could protest, but his area should not exceed three metres. I think the Mets have shot themselves in both…

The human brain can be quite extraordinary .. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=139827095062952194