The Locker Room

http://cosmicfighting.atspace.com/ Enjoy!

I'm sure this was a tongue in cheek idea, but it appeals to me. Anyone care to continue the story? QUOTE=SimonReed] You're right, Simon. I'll shift it down to the humour thread and see if we can get any inventive jokes out of it. Care to go first?

On June 18th 1984 I was at a place called Orgreave. I had been taken there by an unruly group of coppers. Their objective seemed to be to try to take my money playing knockout whist in the back of a van. Little did they know that I was an expert at this game, despite previously knowing it as something else amongst our family. We were parked on the hard shoulder of a motorway at an unearthly hour of the morning. We had seen the sun rise. I had never seen so many police vans in my life. I could see them for as far as the eye could see in front and behind. When we arrived at the battle venue we were assigned callsigns. There was 23 of us in 2 vans. 20 PCs, 2 Sgts, 1 I…

Hi I'm new here - just signed up. I'm a serving police officer in County Durham and looking for some craic and good company, as a change to the morons I check in to our 'hotel suite' most Saturday nights.

Got sent a copy of this, Gingerism As Bad As Racism report this morning by a friend. Yes, you guessed it, I have a touch of 'strawberry blonde' from my mother's side... To be honest, I've actually never suffered anything other than what I've considered to be good natured banter about the colour of my sideburns. (Yeah it's odd that this ginger gene materializes in my sideburns I know!) Had I been of a more 'delicate' nature, I could understand some people finding some of the comments that I've had made towards my gingerness, (even in the last few weeks.) deeply upsetting. However, after recently becoming a father and having one son who's 'redder' than the ot…

This one has been around for a while. You need to combine the following two things. 1. The name of your first pet. 2. Your mothers maiden name. In the past this has brought out some funny names Mine would be Tinker Harrison Whats yours????

I have heard it all now. A Mr Richard Ferris 59 years, who runs a B and B in Minehead, went outside his Guest House and swept the pavement which was covered in butt ends and paper rubbish. He put it in a bag and took it to the local tip. The supervisor jumped into the skip and pulled the bag out, examined the contents and gave Mr Ferris a severe dressing down. He was told that he should not sweep the pavement, as they have specially trained people to sweep the streets, with protective clothing and proper equipment. I just wonder how long the course is to learn how to sweep.

London's Helicopter Emergency Medical's helicopters only fly during the day, so there is no air cover from 01:00hrs to 07:30hrs Monday to Friday, & 18:45hrs to 08:30hrs on Saturdays & Sundays. They're asking for donations from the public to raise £500,000 to provide rapid-response cars for use during those periods - Friday & Saturday nights probably being their busiest. Their average response time over London is 12 minutes, which is vastly faster than ambulances could manage. The Metropolitan Police has helicopters that fly at night. Indeed they've just bought three new ones for £10,000,000. Would it be feasible to adapt a couple of them to carry patie…

What ranks in the force get to have drivers take them around? I didn't know until this morning that in the UK prostituting yourself is a crime but being a john isn't.

Australian Police Officer, and an American Police Officer? Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .17, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? BRITISH POLICE OFFICER'S Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away?…

Just got my gear from stores, having a goof fiddle and extended the asp and i can get it to go back in lol How do these things retract? :whistle2:

Sir Trevor McDonald, on an ITV program, referred to Bernard Manning as 'a fat white bastard'. 44 viewers complained, but Ofcom rejected the complaint. I wonder what they would have said if Bernard Manning had called Sir Trevor, 'a fat black bastard', I cannot believe Ofcom would have rejected the complaint. Double standards me thinks.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/6989528.stm A man described in court as a "major alcoholic" has been banned from every pub in the UK for two years following an unprovoked attack in a Devon bar. Jon McGoff, 35, drank a litre of vodka before punching Dave Gover's face and biting him, Exeter Crown Court heard. McGoff, of no fixed address pleaded guilty to assault occasioning actual bodily harm and possessing an offensive weapon. He was jailed for 12 months and banned from British pubs for two years........ I wonder if this man was originally from the Isle of Dogs & thought he should live up to that.

Currently serving a custody clerk sentance, but hey it could be worse!! a lot lot worse!! 5yrs responce and sick to death about Mr G going on about how wonderful you all are, thought it was time to see what its all about!