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"The mother of the three-year-old girl whose foot became entangled in an escalator at an Atlanta airport has filed a lawsuit against the maker of the popular plastic shoes for millions of dollars. Alison Pregliasco and her daughter were on their way to a trip to Disney World when the little girl's Croc became entangled in an airport escalator. According to the report, it took 15 minutes to remove the child's right foot from the escalator. She had three broken toes and had to have surgery that involved doctors putting pins in her foot and cleaning bones to remove skin contaminated with escalator grease." There is no getting away from the fact that CR…

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag. The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out across the store for everyone to hear:- 'Price check for Tampax Supersize.' But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks', and replied in a business like tone, his voice booming over the same public address system: ' "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind one you belt in with a hammer?"

No matter how poor people are, they are in the pub every night. People always ask for a pint (in the pub) or tea (in the cafe) yet always leave within seconds of paying for it. It always snows on Christmas Day. Someone always dies at Christmas<?:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> They never talk about politics, or sports. Major events (like Di's funeral) don't happen in Soap World. Nobody ever talks about anyone who moved away, or about people who haven't been on screen. There are never any low flying aircraft. Everyone always hears exactly what the other person says. No two people have the sam…

A friend of mine, Jim Webster, happens to write for the Farmers Guardian. I have just read his article in today's paper. It is accurate and serious but humorous at the same time and though I would be generous and share it with you. Jim's article.

Today, I visited my daughter's school to pay her fees for the next term and complete all the forms. While in the waiting area, I met another parent of a child who attends the same school. This parent is a rock star whose name you would undoubtedly know (but I won't say to protect his privacy) - even I've heard of him and I don't do riock music. I don't know him very well, but we are acquainted and so we chatted for a few minutes. The topic of copyright theft came up and I asked him how badly he was affected by illegal file sharing, and his answer surprised me. He said he was hardly affected at all and was making plenty of dosh - which must be true because he has just …

I just simply had to post this... well, Morecambe is dressed up as a policeman...enjoy! http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=6mDTn-QvO9I&NR=1

I live in the city that ranks 4th in the nation in the numbers of its population over the age of 25 with at least a batchelor's degree. We're advertising for a position for which a degree can be substituted for experience. We're an international organization with an international reputation for the quality and expertise of our staff and the work that we do. I am to do the initial screening and interviewing for the position. WHY in the age of spellcheck am I getting resumes with typos, dependent clauses not set off by commas; memorandums instead of memoranda...I could go on and on. After reading the third resume last night proclaiming the applicant's great pro…

Click area 1210 sq yards = 1 rood 50 roods = 1 bloody 10 bloodies = 1 bastard 5 bastards = 1 westlife weight Oliver + Sharon = 2 stones 1000 stones = 1 Ground Force garden 1 ton = Celebrity Fat Club capacity 2 gallons = 1 peck 5 pecks = 1 lovebite 3 lovebites = 1 snog 4 snogs = 1 frenchie 8 frenchies = 1 gallon 2 gills = 1 cod 10 cod = 1 North Sea quota 1000 alcopops = 1 millibar density 1 jade = 5 becks length 9 inches = 1 male lie 3 feet = jake the peg 8 mile = 1 eminem pressure 5 scruples = 1 conscience 12 rants = 1 screaming fit 999 fits = 1 cardiac arrest

"A MAN WENT INTO A SHOE STORE TO BUY A TWELVE-POUND PAIR OF SHOES. HE HANDED THE CLERK A TWENTY-POUND NOTE. IT WAS EARLY IN THE DAY, AND THE CLERK DIDN'T HAVE ANY ONE-POUND COINS. HE TOOK THE TWENTY-POUND NOTE AND WENT TO THE RESTAURANT NEXT DOOR WHERE HE EXCHANGED IT FOR TWENTY ONE-POUND COINS. HE THEN GAVE THE CUSTOMER HIS CHANGE. LATER THAT MORNING THE RESTAURANT OWNER CAME TO THE CLERK AND SAID, "THIS IS A COUNTERFIT TWENTY-POUND NOTE." THE CLERK APOLOGIZED PORFUSELY, AND TOOK BACK THE PHONEY NOTE AND GAVE THE RESTUARANT OWNER TWO GOOD TEN-POUND NOTES. NOT COUNTING THE COST OF THE SHOES, HOW MUCH MONEY DID THE SHOE STORE LOOSE?

First person to guess the correct answer is a genius. What number comes next in this sequence: 1/1 3/2 7/5 17/12 41/29 ==?==

Two grandmothers on mobility scooters had to be dragged apart after getting into a fight where they were "ramming each other like dodgems" in a supermarket. The women were separated after they started trading blows in front of shoppers in an aisle of the Iceland store in Crawley, West Sussex. They were prized apart after staff heard screams. A store worker said: "It was shocking. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics...upermarket.html Where is HATO when you need them?

Penbwlch 31998 M&MBM 31995 (posts that is in case you hadn't guessed)

Heard on good old Radio 4 that 23% of births in this country are from mothers not born here. That's nearly a quarter. I'm not saying it's necessarily a problem, but I think it deserves more than a passing mention.