The Locker Room

My last post on the fog-lights thread has got me thinking... Maybe we should compile a glossary of replies / quick put-downs for common 'stupid' questions or comments from the people we deal with, thus standardising police humour / sarcasm across the country. This could be beneficial to the newer members on here. For example; "If my girlfriend's pregnant, can she p*** in your helmet?" "Only if I can take a dump in her handbag!" "I bet you were bullied when you were at school" "No sir, I WAS the bully" any others will be warmly received...

Got in from shift ... bought one of those 'made up in store' pizzas from Asda ...sat in front of the telly ... 3 bites in... heard a crack...spat out a bit of gravel ...and my filling has cracked as a result. Looks like the gravel was hidden in the mushroom ...I may have to take it up with Asda

Hiya, Well after hanging up my beret over 5 years ago now as an Army Cadet, I am thinking of becoming an Adult Instructor for the Army Cadet Force. My work as a PCSO means I do shifts, and I was wondering if any other full time officers are Instructors for the ACF, and how you find balancing Police and ACF commitments? Thanks :D

A Bitch! Man this sucks, nothing is out there lol... Pray for me people.

Lol, I just called myself a filthy beast in another topic and then just happened to click on my profile and noticed what my reputation rating is; Is that Karma or what?

Hello Does anyone have the above dvds i could buy? They used to be available via policepass.co.uk for £20. But are now only available via e learning which costs £100! Does anyone have these? Thanks Paul

I have had to leave out evidential photographs of some of the nominees due to them being in an indecent start of undress. My nominations are; My nomination for the Drunk Person of the Year 2010 is; (for the additional criminal damage) Any more nominees for this prestigious award?

Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day! Gotta love this Judge! You must read this......a proper decision by the courts....for a change . FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY In Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days.. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!" The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your h…

Morning all, I've had quite and eventful one already! I've had to put up with a house party next door, suspected intruders in my kitchen and a whole host of other things. The place I live belongs to a supported housing group so you get all sorts in these sorts of house-shares. I've had to phone Police out a number of times due to next door and having random people getting in the house thanks to the smart people upstairs. This morning I had to phone the Police as I thought we had intruders in the kitchen, they were happily roaming through the house and seemed to be from the house party next door. I wasn't going to risk finding out who they were as we've had intruders be…

As it says on the tin; I'd be interested to hear about your experiences of how people have reacted seeing you out and about when you're off duty, if the last time they interacted with you was on duty. Are they generally looking the other way, or do you get a bit of 'mouth'?

these are hilarious

The main story is linked below but in short the UK Government want to sell the forests to private companies saying that "Ministers want to transfer power from the Forestry Commission, which owns 18% of woodlands, to the private sector, saying this will boost public control.". I don't understand how having woodland in private hands boosts public control and I think it's a disgraceful move. The Government will stop at nothing for a few pence it seems. Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12257835 Please sign the e-petition and make your voice heard on this one. http://www.38degrees...ave-our-forests Rant over

News of a sick Kid from Romford who needs your help. Alex is a 7 year old with a rare brain tumour, his family & friends are trying to raise £300k for treatment in USA. Please visit the link - if you can raise awareness by sending it to your contacts - web sites that you visit it will make all the difference. My link If everyone donated just a couple of quid it could save a young life. Thanks for reading, Please visit this link. Take a few minutes to think on this - Together we can make a difference. Bob Gladstone

J3 GPX For Sale Offers - £180 or over Currently on retention

I've just heard a journalist on Channel 4 News say that it is justifiable "in the public interest" to hack into a MP's phone to 'uncover lies'.......that lie would be that the MP maintains a public image of being a family man but at the same time, he's knobbing his secretary.........apparently that is directed at a specfic MP, although I don't know who it's referring to. Nor do I care much. ........and he says that good journalists should have a healthy disrespect for the law......... What I do find odd is that it appears that individual journalists are allowed to interpret "in the public interest"......... Journalists, it would appear, have pretty much gone rogue and…