The Locker Room

Here I am, on my days off coughing and spluttering away sitting in bed on my laptop feeling absolutely terrible with nothing else to do other than surf the net. Someone please come to my rescue and tell me how to get rid of this horrible flu.... Any suggestions of any remedies you have for getting rid of these symptoms? Definately in need of some TLC. BTW its not just normal flu, its definately MAN flu !!!!

For us who did a bit, okay then, quite a bit of celelbration yesterday. Anyone knows a good hangover cure? I am still drunk by the way, and I've got a football match this afternoon.. heeeeeeeeeeelp!

OMG!!! I didn't realise that the sales start now....online. For those girls amongst us that love Monsoon....everything is half price online right now!!! (It wasn't earlier this evening when I looked!!!!). http://www.monsoon.co.uk/icat/women And cute baby stuff too.... http://www.monsoon.co.uk/icat/children Oh yeah if too busy ....online SALE shopping...hope everyone has a lovely day tomorrow...Merry Christmas!!!!!ChickenSoup2006-12-24 23:42:04

The annual handing out of gongs is under way, about 60% are given to Civil Servants, who are just doing a job, like millions of others, of the remaining 40%, about 5% are deserving. Teflon Tony has been upset by the Police regarding the 'cash for honours' enquiry, so there are very few police officers receiving awards, about seven in all. Give everyone who is employed in the UK a CBE and then kick the system into touch. The whole system is a farce when you consider James Dyson is given a Knight hood for rooking the country of millions for R and D, sacks three hundred workers and bogs off to Singapore, with his millions, funny award system.

Before I say anything, I must say that I sincerely hope that there's nothing wrong with my thread title this time, Brutus >roll eyes< What I wanted to ask is............does anyone else on here own a horse/know how to ride?

THE LAWS OF SELF DEFENCE Adapted from Murphy’s Laws of Combat 1. The Police don’t always come to the rescue. 2. If the aggressor is in range, so are you. 3. Incoming attacks have the right of way. 4. The only problem with leaving before trouble starts is the trouble has already started. 5. Aggressors invariably attack on two occasions: a)when you're ready for them and when you're not ready for them. 6. If your counter-attack is going well, then it's an ambush and the aggressor’s friends are on the way. 7. Anything you do can get you punched, including nothing. 8. Every off-handed comment which can be misunderstood will be. 9. Finding yourself under arrest and in jail…

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?" That's Nelson Mandela's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie." Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life." “Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man. “Bush's clock…

Best wishes to everybody for 2007!!!!!!!!!!!

The pugalist Prince Naseem has been stripped of his MBE as a result of him being sent to prison, for reckless driving. What a big pity they didn't strip Lord 'perjury' Archer of his Lordship as a result of him going to prison. A bit of selective judgement there by the looks of things. It's surprising what you can hang onto if you are in with the establishment.Maverick222007-01-02 19:24:55

Dear Friends With the new year upon us, I'd like to extend my heartfelt appreciation to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy. * Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on envelopes cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope. * Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. * Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic. * I no longer check the coin retu…

If the Mail on Sunday is anything to go by, we should be enquiring into Tony Blairs integrity as PM. It seems that most of Robin Gibbs parties supply cocaine for the guests, plus other dubious antics by his wife and guests. Surely Blair and his family don't wish to be associated with behaviour of that kind. It would be interesting to know how much Teflon has donated to the charity, for his holiday at Gibbs house, which by all accounts would cost around $40,000 a week to anyone else. I can't see Cherie letting him spend that amount of dosh. Some of the family have already had a freebie visit to Cape Canaveral, they really are a family of scroungers.

George W Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?" The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?" And Bush says, "We're planning World War 3." And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 20 million Afghans this time and one bicycle repairman." And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!" So Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you, no-one would worry about the 20 million Afghans."

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test. They took a £10 note, a bible, and a bottle of whisky, and put them on the front hall table... then they hid, pretending they were not at home. The father's plan was: "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard." So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw a no…

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me: TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note), TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping, NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression, EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine…

Tony Blair is being shown around a hospital. Towards the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward with a number of people with no obvious signs of injury. He goes to greet the first and the chap replies: "FAIR fa’ your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain e’ the puddin’ race! Aboon them a’ ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o’ a grace As lang ‘s my arm." Tony, being somewhat confused goes to the next patient and greets him. He replies: "Some hae meat, and canna eat, And some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat and we can eat, And sae the Lord be thank it." The third starts rattling off as follows: "Wee sleekit, cow’rin, tim’rous beastie, O,…