The Locker Room

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6258089.stm UK's existence is at risk - Brown Gordon Brown is widely expected to be the next Labour leader The identity of the United Kingdom is threatened by an "opportunist group of nationalists", Gordon Brown has warned. The chancellor told the Fabian Society that some groups were "playing fast and loose" with the union of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. He said the UK was a country "built on shared values" which served as a "model for the rest of the world". SNP leader Alex Salmond said Mr Brown was thinking only of his "self-interest as a prime minister desi…

Never mind what's happening in the Middle East, or all the war-torn & troubled parts of the world - this must be the most important earth shattering news item, from the prominence the BBC's giving this:- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6260043.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/6261897.stm Tough new laws limiting job opportunities for immigrants have been introduced in Russia. The number of non-Russians working in the retail trade is now being limited to 40%, but by the end of the year that number is supposed to be zero. Russian police are raiding the country's markets on a daily basis, enforcing quotas on the number of foreigners working in the retail trade. The new law was proposed after race riots in northern Russia last summer. President Vladimir Putin spoke of the need to defend the interests of what he called the native population. Markets - often a source of employment f…

Dear Leader Tony Bliar has announced two 'Cunning Plans'. One a Huge 'Super Duper Database' with details of every man, jack, child in the UK with all their personal details.... including my inside leg measurement and the the comics I read!! and... His 'Road Pricing Plan' to try and ease road congestion. A useful idea, or just another Tax Revunue Raising scam?? If it ever gets off the ground, which is doubtful considering Labours track record on major public sector IT projects. this will be a 'Big Brother' version of 'Red Ken' Livingstones 'Congestion Charge' system in London, where I bet it will eventually be 'rolled out' to all of the Greater London …

.....but my christmas tree keeps falling down! Anyone else having problems keeping theirs up? ChickenSoup2006-12-07 18:47:42

A Victorian policeman sees a drunk in the gutter. On closer inspection he sees that it is in fact Dr Watson. Turning him over the policeman said: " Oi! Haven't you got Holmes to go to!"

Three Little Pigs The Three Little Pigs Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order. "I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy. "I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy. "I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy. The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner. "I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy. "I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy. "I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy. The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table …

Have only just started posting but been a member since summer I think, thought I'd better pop along and introduce myself, so here goes....... Coming up to having served my first year, how time flies when you're having fun eh!? I'm a tauras, enjoy long walks on the beach and am probably old enough to know better, ! Well that's the short version anyhoo........ Cheers

... romantically kiss someone you never have , who would it be and why?

Today, I had occasion to 'advise', robustly, a junior colleague about his poor grammar - explaining to him why, when describing a person standing, the predicator should not consist of the lexical verb participle stood with the past progressive auxilliary was, in 'was stood', unless someone else put the person there (e.g. by the addition of an actual or ellipted prepositional phrase serving as an adverbial). So, it would be correct to say "the toy soldier was stood on the window sill by the boy", but it would not be correct to say, "the man was stood by the side of the road". See? He nodded, but his face was vacant. He had also included in a report a latin phrase that…

Hi everyone. I have been receiving the Police Oracle e-mails for some time but only just registered to use the forums. I am an ex-police officer, having been in Strathclyde Police for just over 11 years. I studied law through the OU and left the police about 1 year before graduating to see if I could get a job in the legal profession. I am now a 2nd year trainee solicitor in London but still keep one interested eye on what's happening in the police. Oh yes and I have to come clean, as part of the process of trying to get my training contract I qualified as an accredited police station rep which I still do whenever I am called to (ducks to avoid the missiles now…

TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR FAMILY IS STRESSED... 10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk". 9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial. 8. The cat is on Valium. 7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth. 6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated. 5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family. 4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners. 3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials. 2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take o…

A duck walks into a bar and says " Got any bread?" And the barman says "No" The next day the duck returns and says "Got any bread?" And the barman, "No!". The following day the duck returns and says "Got any bread?" "I told you yesterday, N-O NO!" The next day the duck returns and says "Got any bread?" "For cryin' out loud - N-O spells NO and I mean NO! !" The day after the duck returns and says "Got any bread?" "Look, if you ask me one more damn time if I've got any bread, I'm going to nail your damn beak to the damn bar!!" The next day the duck returns and says ""Got any nails?" "No!" "Got any bread?

An off duty police officer is sitting in a pub, reading a newspaper. He's a little startled to be approached by a man he's arrested many times before. The man says: "You won't be arresting me any more. I'm turning over a newleaf. I going straight & getting a job." The officer says: "Hey. There's just the job for you here in this newspaper." He reads out: "Billionaire seeks male companion for beautiful daughter....expense account....car...wardrobe....overseas holidays....£200,000 per year salary....no experience, qualifications or references required." The man says: "You're pulling my leg, right?" The officer says: "Well, you started it."Graha…

What has everyone resolved for 2007? I have quit smoking, as of yesterday. Reading the Allen Carr book has made me quite confident this time. Has anyone already broken a resolution yet?