The Locker Room

hey guys! just a quick question, i was smoking while i was driving today as i always do! (been cutting down recently) me and mate where in the car, he saw a patrol car and told me to drop my cig, i thought he was joking, he claims that its against the law to smoke while your driving. So i was wodering if this is true?

Most mornings between about 7am and 8am I take my dog for a walk - always carry a couple of supermarket bags as pooper-scoopers. I have noticed one particular house I pass contains a middle-aged woman who watches me and hides behind the curtain so I won't see her. But I always do. I know the chap who lives next door to her and he says she is a fruit bat who is obsessed with people letting their dogs mess on the pavement outside her house and has a video camera set up at all times to catch them in action! This morning I was unable to sleep, so I rose at 5.30am and took my dog out. My dog stopped and sniffed a bush outside Mrs Fruitbat's. At that point the loon emerg…

The husband who offered to sell his cheating wife on eBay has been given a police caution. The Sun told last week how Paul Osborn, 44, attracted bids of more than £500,000 for Sharon. But cops failed to see the funny side and arrested the dad-of-two. He has now been cautioned for “sending an offensive, indecent, obscene and menacing message†on the web. MoT inspector Paul, of Bletchley, Bucks, posted the ad after learning Sharon, 43, was seeing a workmate. He included a picture of her picking her nose and offered “my cheating, lying, adulterous s**g of a wife†to the top bidder. He also gave her mobile number. Callers yesterday received a message from…

How cute is this? Brings out the maternal instinct in me.

Click Ee-aw always seems to be making an ass of himself lately.

Right guys and girls I'm looking for a bit of advice to imporve my diet. I'm currently trying to get into better shape and have recentley lost a fiar bit of wieght and feel all the better for it. What I'm trying to do now is increase my muscle mass and tone. I know the best thing to do is increase my protien intake to increase muscle mass bgut i eat a mostly vegetarian diet and the only high protien foods i really know of are meat like chicken. Anyone know of any foods that are high in protien or other essentials for building muscle which i could eat on a vegetarian diet? Since the mrs is so heavily into her veggie diet its really a pain in the backside making two seper…

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1021799/As-British-diver-sells-story-1million-did-REALLY-survive-shark-infested-seas-19-hours.html is this another tale that should start with, ''Once upon a time''. It seems that twenty people on the boat could see for miles but these two couldn't. If the sea WAS rough,(which according to witnesses it wasn't) they could have swum under water to the boat, it was only 200 metres away. Sounds more like an Enid Blyton fairy tale to me.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1021986/Fire-service-held-non-white-open-days-hires-just-ONE-ethnic-minority-recruit.html Poor old Kevin Pearson, he cannot seem to get anything right, descriminating against white people applying for jobs with Avon Fire Brigade. I think he is still suffering from his incident, when some of his firemen shone a search lamp into some bushes on Clifton Downs, at four doggers.

You know those songs that are so horrendously bad, they're good. The sort you can't help but like? Do you have one & what is it? I do & I'm almost ashamed to say what it is *whispers* Suggs - Cecilia There's no excuse for it really. So come on, embarrass yourselves!

http://www.policeoracle.com/news/Police-Forces-Spending-40m-On-PR_16357.html I am sure there are better ways of spending 40 million than on PR, which half the time Joe Public doesn't believe anyway.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1022032/LITTLEJOHN-Whats-difference-MPs-expenses-stealing.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1021691/Church-doing-convert-UK-Muslims-says-bishop.html why should anyone try to convert them, they are more set in their ways than our lot.

http://newsbiscuit.com/article/police-interrogation-to-include-general-knowledge-round

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/moslive/article-1020934/The-terror-Tescos-finest--forklift-driver-Leicester-Somalias-feared-general.html This Government is so inept it's almost beyond belief that this is allowed to happen. How that incompetent buffoon Mallock-Brown didn't know, or says he didn't know what was going on, is beyond contempt. But then this shows what an incompetent shower this Labour Government is.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1021687/REVEALED-MI5-mans-prostitute-wife-embroiled-Mosley-scandal.html MI5's vetting doesn't seem to be up to much, and we are supposed to rely on them to protect the Country. Mind you, I have seen better looking 'backs of buses' than that tart in the picture, Max Mosley is welcome to her. He must have a poor taste in females, or perhaps he isn't bothered what they look like, just as long as his fettishes are covered.