The Locker Room

During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her. The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to ta…

Having vigorously moaned and groaned during the last few six nations matches about the Ref being blind etc... My wife has suggested I get some optical enhancement. There is an opportunity here for me to spend some hard earned cash (with minimal "budget" type justification) on a decent all rounder, set of binoculars... any thoughts gentlemen? PoGs www.pocketcomms.com

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8550668.stm Please let this story have a happy ending.

Just a quick reminder, or mention if you didn't know.......... "Stardust" is on Channel 4 this Sunday at 2000hrs. If you haven't seen it then I would recommend watching/recording it. It's very, very good. Too good for children.

Police called to a home in a sleepy village were shocked to find a sex dungeon containing Nazi uniforms, whips, chains, sex toys and cattle prods. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12...l#ixzz0h3tmqEHr The HATO hide out discovered. "During the raid, one customer arrived at the home and still asked for his appointment to go ahead despite the large police presence." Prat, but back to the subject, is they`re anything wrong in a closed session sex orgy?

For various reasons, my mind turns to holidays. The appalling weather being one! Options on the table presently Cruise (Southampton to New York, few days there and flight back). Cruise to Bahamas. Trek using caravan to Europe for 3 weeks Trip to Spain to stay with friends for as long as we like. I favour the 1st cruise and maybe Spain too, Mr W favours the caravan trek across Europe. (A step up as his first suggestion was a week in July on a boat in the Norfolk Broads.....Captain Pugwash he ain't!) Have you got anything booked? Any good deals going?

Would you be happy and encourage, or try and put her off? And who would you worry most about, the criminals or other officers?

I'm a bit fed up with the doom and gloom, and I thought it would be encouraging to have some good news stories highlighted as well as the ones which make us angry. Here's one to start with. The sort of neighbours you want. Well done to the Robinson family

Muslims warned not to go through airport body scanners because they violate Islamic rules on nudity Islamic scholars have forbidden Muslim travelers from passing through full body scans at airports because they violate religious rules on nudity. The Fiqh Council of North America issued a fatwa, or religious ruling, yesterday warning Muslims not to go through the scanners. ‘It is a violation of clear Islamic teachings that men or women be seen naked by other men and women,’ read the order. ‘Islam highly emphasises haya (modesty) and considers it part of faith. The Quran has commanded the believers, both men and women, to cover their private parts,’ it add…

Every dog owner will have to take a costly ‘competence test’ to prove they can handle their pets, under new Government proposals designed to curb dangerous dogs. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12...l#ixzz0gq84zSAk I have no problem with this idea, but it should be introduced for people who wish to have children too.

Is it just me or since the tv has come alive with cash your gold adverts there has been an increase in jewellery shop especially Cashconverter shop smash and grabs? Any scroat can mask up with a lump hammer and smash a window and run off with a £400 chain from the display or steal / burgle from peoples houses and have a chain free fencing service. Steal a chain with the pre-paid envelope on you, run round the corner and post it. Cops get you... no chain... week later cash through the letterbox, simple! just my thoughts...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1254874/Lazy-dog-owner-Paul-Railton-banned-driving-using-car-pet-walk.html An unusual proesecution. He looks as bright as a Toch H Lamp.

Emily Somers, created, directed and choreographed this in Portland Main USA NOV 2009 for her Medline glove division as a fundraiser for breast cancer awareness. This was all her idea to help promote their new pink gloves. I don't know how she got so many employees, doctors and patients to participate, but it started to really catch on and they all had a lot of fun doing it. When the video gets 1 million hits, Medline will be making a huge contribution to the hospital, as well as offering free mammograms for the community. Please check it out. It's an easy and great way to donate to a wonderful cause, and who hasn't been touched by breast cancer? Ann Somers htt…

http://whathappenedinmybirthyear.com/ So here is what happened in the year i was born. In 1963, the world was a different place. There was no Google yet. Or Yahoo. In 1963, the year of your birth, the top selling movie was Cleopatra. People buying the popcorn in the cinema lobby had glazing eyes when looking at the poster. Remember, that was before there were DVDs. Heck, even before there was VHS. People were indeed watching movies in the cinema, and not downloading them online. Imagine the packed seats, the laughter, the excitement, the novelty. And mostly all of that without 3D computer effects. Do you know who won the Oscars that year? The academy award for the…

I must have been living in a bubble and the Police has been a real eye opener. Now i just cant believe how some people live, and they think its the norm. Im regularly going to houses and theyre absolutely horrendous inside. No carpets, peeled of wall paper, graffiti, rubbish everywhere, filth and grease everywhere, bathroom absolute disgrace, light bulbs missing, mouldy food in fride, dog poo and p1ss on carpet. The stench in some of the houses is unbearable. But these people dont appear concerned or embarrassed about it. The majority i dont sit down in, stating "its ok ive been sat in the office all day, i need to stretch my back". Then they offer you a sandwich, …