Rank: Special Constable

Length of service: 12 months

Planned hours: 2100-0600

Location: Metropolitan Police Service

 

All timings are approximate

 

2100- Arrive at the nick and meet up with my regular colleague. We do many shifts together double crewed, and tonight is no different. We are working with the night shift response team. Kit up and briefing complete, last few e-mails dealt with and we are ready to head out as the ‘early’ car

 

2200- Head straight out to a collapsed male in a bus stop. We arrive and speak to the MOPs who saw what happened. I deal with enquiries while my colleague is treating the male as we await LAS. About 10 mins later a response unit arrives and he’s hooked up to the gadgets to monitor him. Hes getting a little agitated before going unconscious. Into the recovery position and away the LAS bus to arrive and cart him to the local hospital.

 

2300- Were now floating about waiting for something nearby to our current position to come out. The remainder of the night shift have swapped over with late turn and are also on patrol now.

 

2330- Head to a well-known ASB & drugs hotspot we visit regularly. We can see a car parked there as we approach from the main road. As we turn in the headlights are off and we crawl up toward the parked car. A few hundred metres later and we’re pretty close to the target car. The lights go back on and we can see the 5 occupants inside. Colleague jumps out and there is a big whiff of cannabis.

 

Two males upfront, three barely dressed females in the back. I shout up and ask for another unit female crewed to come and give a hand with the search. The front passenger stated he hadn’t long smoked a joint. Grounds were given and both of the chaps and the car were searched as the unit arrived to assist.

An area car arrived double female crewed. Perfect! The girls were all drug less and after name checks were allowed on their way. An intel report added later for the passenger and vehicle.

 

2400- Its pub kick out time. We don’t have a pub/club district at all on this borough, we still have our fair share of alcohol related incidents.

 

Two calls come out at the same time, one in the town centre outside a well-known pub of a fight, and one just around the corner for an aggressive female in the street. The area car goes for the town centre as it’s further and they have taser, and we take the closer call.

 

0004- After locating the street, it just begins mid-way along an existing street (weird) we see a victim who flags us down. He states a lady was “possessed” and damaging cars, shouting her head off. He point further down the road and states she has gone down there.

 

We advance slowly in the car and my colleague spots her lying face down on the bonnet of a parked vehicle. We pull up to the side and jump out. Colleague tries rousing her before she awakes and lifts her off the bonnet. I kid you not it was like something out of a zombie movie. Immediately began shrieking and waving her arms about.

Ok well I guess we have found our suspect. I stick with her while my colleague goes back up the street to identify any damage to the cars alleged. While hes gone this female has taken a dislike to me and head-butts me in the chest armor.

 

I don’t really want to arrest her just yet (big mistake) I put her down to the floor gently as I don’t really want her falling over and hurting herself. Shes drunk as a skunk! Eurgh, while I do this she gobs at me all over the front of my armor, and all on my trousers!

“Fudge!” I shout. Shes now trying to eat me! I wasn’t wrong about the zombie idea afterall!

I restrain her and before I can slap some cuffs on her, shes still thrashing about and gets a few kicks on me!

Im now shouting for my colleague to come back over, it’s far safer for her and us if I’m not doing this alone. I sense a figure come over, but it’s not my colleague. It’s some unknown guy who’s now trying to get me off of this woman.

Seconds after my colleague is back over and pulls this guy off me and pushes him away. We get the cuffs on this woman and shes arrested for criminal damage and assault police.

 

It turns out this fella is her boyfriend. He keeps buzzing around us protesting her innocence. A prisoner van is on the way and we wait with her pinned on the floor comfortably. This guy is beginning to edge toward getting himself nicked in a-mo. The CS comes out and I shout for him to “Back off or you’re gunna get sprayed, now BACK OFF!” He finally gets the message and disappears.

 

0030- The vans here and shes loaded in the back. The cell is on the next borough so I follow the van while my buddy is watching my prisoner for me. Shes kicking off in the cage and we have to stop to sort her out for the rest of the journey.

 

0100- We’re seen by the custody skipper and the DP is not happy we’re there with her, claiming we’ve done all sorted to her etc. Custody skipper asks us to stand back and let the DDOs deal with her for us. She takes exception to this and royally kicks off. Shes carried into the cell, and staff cell extracted out after the secondary search is completed.

 

0130- Shes not head-butting the cells. *Sigh* I know where this is going. Custody call for LAS as shes going at it pretty hard. Looks like we’re now going to be a hospital guard for the rest of the night.

 

0150- Two LAS crews are here now (what a waste) and we’re just about to head to the local hospital. It’s like a 2 minute ride. Thankfully I’m following in the car again. Shes protesting that the LAS staff have done some nasty things to her also. A few minutes rest from her for me was great!

 

0200- The next several hours are truly horrible. I don’t even wish to type about it. I’m sure you can imagine. A drunk female hurling abuse at you and stuff, other patients nearby while we wait for the doctor to come and check the head wounds.

 

0400- DP is now offering sexual favours to have the hand-cuffs off. “I’ll behave if you take them off, promise” *Wink*

Yeah sure, never heard that one before. Finally the doctor is here. Shes pretty strict with the DP which I secretly find hilarious.

 

0440- The results are back and shes being discharged. Behaving pretty pleasantly now, mustn’t realize she is off back to the nick and not home now.

 

0500- The vans back and we take her back to custody. She books in like a human this time, not a possessed zombie, must be sobering up finally. I take her back to her cell and shes out like a light before I’ve finished speaking with the custody skipper just a few minutes later.

While this is happening, my colleague has already started the reports.

 

0700- After seeking some advice, not wanting to mess anything up, we book off at 0700. Not too bad considering. Just a shame so many hours are wasted at the hospital.

 

 

 

AS this was a little while back, the DP pleaded guilty to all counts of the criminal damage, and 2 for assault police. She went down for a little while. Result.