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  1. After an e-fit of a man wanted in Cheshire became a story in its own right, BBC News has collated its own rogues' gallery of computer-generated images that have caused mirth and merriment for the general public. So comical was the e-fit issued by police of the man seen wielding a knife in Macclesfield that the image - with the suspect depicted with drawn-on hair and beard - inspired people to produce their own parodies. Image copyrightCheshire Police/Ian HarrisonThe e-fit issued by Cheshire Police (left) inspired mock-ups like that of Ian Harrison, who posted his picture on Facebook Amused members of the public took to Twitter to say they presumed the e-fit must have been a joke. And although it most decidedly was not, the image of the suspect was presumably more widely circulated than any other issued by the force. So who's laughing now? Where did you get that hat? Victims are asked to describe not just what the suspect looked like, but what he or she was wearing. In some cases, where a suspect was clothed in clobber not stored in the police's image bank, it would appear creativity plays a hand. Men wearing crudely-drawn hats and a woman who seems to have travelled forward in time from the 1920s are some of the gems issued by Gloucestershire Police. Image caption'This is an e-fit composite. It is not a photograph' is printed - somewhat unnecessarily - along the bottom of these images Image captionThe virtual millinery department of Gloucestershire Police went into overdrive with this pair A poor judge of caricature? One crime victim in Norfolk criticised a police e-fit (below right), saying although a thief had an unusual appearance he "didn't look that odd". Image caption'He was odd-looking, but not that odd' said a theft victim, who described the man on the right to Nofolk police Publican Kim Rule, joint licensee of The Grebe in Stalham, where two safes had been stolen, said: "The man in the picture has half an ear - he didn't have half an ear. And his moustache wasn't like that. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone who looks like that in Stalham. Or anywhere else in my life." Having a bad hair day? Image captionAnyone would be distracted by a burglar with a lettuce on his head Detectives in Essex released an e-fit of a man resembling a "1970s-style rocker" sporting long golden curls. "It is thought to be his own hair," a spokesperson said. Which just makes it even odder. Police in Hampshire issued an unusual e-fit in connection with a distraction burglary. The man's hair, described as "blond or grey, and wavy", looked more like a lettuce bonnet. The force admitted having "technical issues". Image captionThe woman on the left looks a tad unnatural, although possibly less so than the gentleman on the right I'm sure I've seen you before... Image copyrightAP Image caption'Avada Kedavra', as the man on the right did not say Some e-fits bear an uncanny similarity to familiar faces - a thin-nostrilled suspect, portrayed by Leicestershire Police, had more than a passing resemblance to Ralph Fiennes' Voldemort from the Harry Potter films. Heartthrob Aiden Turner, who made scything sexy in the BBC's revamp of Poldark, could reasonably be confused with the e-fit issued by Essex Police... Image captionSeparated at birth - on the left is Poldark and on the right is a Southsea assault suspect. Or should that be the other way round? ...and Beliebers everywhere could be forgiven for plastering their bedroom walls with this e-fit. Image captionGloucestershire Police were responsible for the baby-faced robotic Justin Bieber-alike on the right Yabba-dabba-don't Kent Police were mocked for issuing an e-fit likened to cartoon character Fred Flintstone. The extra sideburn and apparent resemblance to the Stone Age quarry worker attracted howls of derision rather than witness statements. Image captionThe man on the left was likened by members of the public to Fred Flintstone, while others queried the value of a ninja-style image Suffolk Police hunted a knife-wielding ninja robber after an incident in Little Wratting. The force said the victim "gave a detailed description of the man's eyes and hood". Officers put the picture on their Facebook page and people commenting were not shy in airing their derision. One person wrote: "A man with eyes... Not too many of them around." Others said police were hunting "Darth Vader", "You'll never catch a ninja" and a number of people suggested it was "a waste" of the artist's time. But Dr Samantha Lundrigan, senior lecturer in criminology at Anglia Ruskin University in Cambridge, defended the "ninja" e-fit, saying if accurately portrayed, facial features may well be recognisable to people who knew him. And of course there is the possibility there are some odd-looking criminals on the streets of England and the e-fits simply do them justice. Don't have nightmares. Source
  2. I have to admit I've not seen it all yet. At about the 7 minute mark of part one and am in stitches! Part 1 Part 2
  3. Wasn't sure we're to stick this feel free to move it mods. But cheered me up this morning. BE WARNED STRONG LANGUAGE just in case your in company http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U3ORoCJgxJc&sns=em
  4. Soap

    Force Nicknames

    At the meetup a few weeks ago, we were discussing the different names people have for other forces, and wanted to know what other people called their neighbouring forces for a bit of fun. I'll start with a few Surrey - Slurry Police, Sorry Police. TVP - Tesco Value Police Hants - Can'ts Police Keep it clean and friendly though guys!
  5. CR8623

    Dave SYP

    Old Dave is on one tonight! Who has rustled your feathers?! I have a feeling it's the cannabis thread... :whistle:
  6. I am a Serving Special Constable with the Metropolitan Police. My annoyance is at the MET/some other forces for making Special Constables work their absolute backsides off for Independent Patrol Status which takes 6 Months at a MINIMUM, that is if you volunteer almost full time and 18 Months on average. Whereas CKP applicants only need fork out £800 - £900 for a qualification, which from what I hear is not very difficult at all, and then pass a PC Day 1 which they get FREE support for included in their CKP package. What an absolute kick in the teeth! Please reassure me that I am not wasting my time.
  7. http://www.tickld.com/funny/t/745777 FYI This is an exerpt from Dave Barrys "Complete Guide to Guys" http://www.davebarry.com/book-page.php?isbn13=9780449910269
  8. operationfirestorm

    Animal?

    OK I thought this might be interesting. If you was going to be an animal, what animal would you be and WHY? Ill start it off; I would be a wolf I am loyal, trustworthy, afecttionate & playful. I love to dominate & clearly I would be the alpha male. :new_boxing: I am relentless, I push myself to succeed and will not give up the chase. I do not howl but have been known for my loud entrances, center of attention. I have piercing eyes too. My nose is not that long thou So bring it on, what animal would you be? come on lets have some fun!
  9. Did anyone else watch Charlie Brooker's mini-series Black Mirror? There are three drama-comedy episodes, each of which deals with certain aspects of modern society and its relationship with technology. They deal with the subject matter quite cynically - as you might expect from Brooker - but there is a good balance between the drama and comedy. I thoroughly enjoyed the series anyway and thought I'd bring to the attention of folks who may have missed it (as I did, praise be to 4od!). In order of best to worst (in my opinion), episode number... 3. 'The Entire History of You' - "In the near future, everyone has access to a memory implant that records everything they do, see and hear - a sort of Sky Plus for the brain. You need never forget a face again... but is that always a good thing?" (Written by 'Peep Show' writer, so some excellent dialogue). 2. '15 Million Merits' - "a satire on entertainment shows and our insatiable thirst for distraction set in a sarcastic version of a future reality. In this world, everyone is confined to a life of strange physical drudgery. The only way to escape this life is to enter the 'Hot Shot' talent show and pray you can impress the judges. 1. 'The National Anthem' - "The first episode is a political thriller in which fictional Prime Minister Michael Callow faces a huge and shocking dilemma when Princess Susannah, a much-loved member of the Royal Family, is kidnapped." http://www.channel4.com/programmes/black-mirror/4od
  10. Police Oracle1546081498

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