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Legal ways to repel a home invasion?


ChristopherM

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1 hour ago, Ether said:

What if I train a cat to attack like a dog, but claim I haven’t 🤷🏻‍♂️
Or a pack of cats, like a swarm cat attack 🐈 🐈 

Oh pleaaaaaase.  How ridiculous.  Anyone who has or knows of a cat will recognises they would either sleep through the intrusion or wander off looking for something more interesting.  Having said that, swarming moggies does have potential🙈

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If we're talking about cats why not just get a baby tiger, raise it until it's 2-3 so it's full size then just have that as your protection. 

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I personally keep a very large chip pan simmering away beside my bed at all times. Should I feel like a snack in the night I deep fry something tasty. Of course it also has the advantage of being a vat of boiling oil to repel intruders. Cooking chips during the night surely can't be illegal. 

 

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image.png.6dd24b16e9c2e66e9583d2dd9230bd62.png

 

Too much? 😂

 

 

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Of all the jokes and fun it should be said if it hasn't already... if you suspect you're being burgled then do the right thing and phone 999 and ask for the police. Believe me when I say as soon as the police know there is somebody actively inside your house every cop in area will be all over it. It's the only thing I'm aware of other than a CODE ZERO that makes officers move faster. 🙂

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One thing that often frustrates me, is people saying - what if a burglar breaks into your home. 

I rarely checking someone's professional credentials during an offence. Who says they are a burglar?

If I challenge someone in my home and they run, burglar. If they don't, then I feel the threat level is at maximum. 

That's when I get my elephant urine out!

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5 hours ago, XA84 said:

If we're talking about cats why not just get a baby tiger, raise it until it's 2-3 so it's full size then just have that as your protection. 

What if I train a badger, it’s a wild animal so surely I can’t be held accountable.

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5 hours ago, Chief Cheetah said:

I personally keep a very large chip pan simmering away beside my bed at all times. Should I feel like a snack in the night I deep fry something tasty. Of course it also has the advantage of being a vat of boiling oil to repel intruders. Cooking chips during the night surely can't be illegal. 

 

Does it not make you peckish all night, like when you walk past a chippy 😆

With small kids in the house I have had to stop boiling sugar In the night for baking cakes the next day. 

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On 11/05/2021 at 21:03, Ether said:

Why are you after some cat pee?

My own is probably worse.

And I feel if I dispense it from the natural source it would be far scarier to a home invader. Not because of size, just because I'll look like a proper nutter...

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2 hours ago, Shmook said:

My own is probably worse.

And I feel if I dispense it from the natural source it would be far scarier to a home invader. Not because of size, just because I'll look like a proper nutter...

I can just imagine that, home invader breaks into your bedroom. "Just wait a sec pal, I'm just getting some of my homemade acid ready to throw over you" as you get your bits out!

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2 hours ago, Shmook said:

My own is probably worse.

And I feel if I dispense it from the natural source it would be far scarier to a home invader. Not because of size, just because I'll look like a proper nutter...

What burglar has ever not been repelled by a human helicopter with a urine chaff device 

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I have MrsDaveSYP at the side of me. Believe me, she’s enough to repel anyone! 😂

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I also used to keep a picture of the mother-in-law on the mantle piece, it kept the kids away from the fireplace.  
I suppose if it was nailed to the front gate with the words “I Live Here “ emblazoned on it, it could have the desired effect? 😂

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24 minutes ago, Dave SYP said:

I also used to keep a picture of the mother-in-law on the mantle piece, it kept the kids away from the fireplace.  
I suppose if it was nailed to the front gate with the words “I Live Here “ emblazoned on it, it could have the desired effect? 😂

I’m thinking that if I put pigs in my front garden, with a rolling video of the film snatch, where they talk about pigs eating bodies. 
 

Brave man to not pause for thought

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On 12/05/2021 at 16:54, Father Jack said:

image.png.6dd24b16e9c2e66e9583d2dd9230bd62.png

 

Too much? 😂

 

 

THAT is ingenious. 

I absolutely love it 😂

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