Auditors

[Equin0x 169]

Has there been a time when you've seen a criminal put so much effort and dedication into pulling off a crime that you've been genuinely impressed, and think that if they put all that effort into a legitimate job they would be extremely successful.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Equin0x

[SimonT + 1,194]

One of our long term professional criminals was frequently impressive in their brazen and bold execution of crimes. 

They weren't rocket science but brassy and imaginative. 

They are serving a very long stretch at the moment and will be bang at it when they come out. 

Despite their fast cars and loose women, his life appears to be desperately miserable. I'm not sure it's worth it. 

[Radman + 2,165]

This is a great topic. 

A lad I dealt with for a job was a real cool character who was very, very funny, to the point where I suspect it was clearly a means of derailing and disarming cops that were trying to deal with him. The point that it came to a head for me was when in interview, he was asked if his partner drove, he replied with zero hesitation:

"Yeah my Mrs drives... Drives me round the bend!" 

He said it in such a dead pan manner his brief burst out laughing, I laughed as did the other cop in there with me, none of us expected it but he was a real charmer of a bloke. 

As for true intelligence a female fraudster I had numerous dealings with for a time was extremely smart but also extremely manipulative, she didn't really feel true remorse for anything she had done including actions against numerous vulnerable people. Anyhow we ended up searching her accommodation for evidence linking her to the alleged offences. I found a box in a drawer in her room and inside it was a pile of neatly folded bits of paper. It turns out these were all handwritten notes that her victims had given her, going back years. 

She kept all of them as trophies instead of just destroying them, the strangest thing was that she had been living at different addresses and had moved frequently but she always ensured she took this box with her. 

I think if she applied herself properly should could have been an extremely successful if somewhat cut throat individual. 

 

Edited June 29, 2021 by Radman

[Reasonable Man + 1,251]

The one I was most impressed with only got caught because of his honesty! We had a series of burglaries at pubs and social clubs. Clever preparation with alarms disabled, window removed without breaking. No noise and no indication of the break until staff next attended. Cash taken from tills or cash bags left for banking. Sometimes small safes removed. Gaming machines opened and the coins taken. The MO didn’t fit with anyone local and we didn’t have a clue. 
My DC colleague got a break when he asked around at the latest social club to be hit and got the name of someone who had been in recently asking about membership. He had stayed for a pint but not come back. The steward had signed him in as a guest so we had a name. Made some enquiries and found that he had moved to the area about 3 months before, just before the burglaries had started. We found out where he had moved from and made a call to the local CID office. They had had a series of burglaries with the same MO that went on for almost a year and then stopped about 3 months before. 
The man was not known on PNC or on their local intel system. 
The DS said there wasn’t enough to arrest but the DC didn’t want to miss a chance so took a punt at the ‘suspect’ being naive about police procedures. He invited him in for ‘a chat’ and laid out the circumstantial evidence. The guy just rolled over and admitted everything. He had been laid off as an alarm engineer so thought he would use his knowledge to move into another career. He knew from visiting licenced premises to fit alarms what needed protecting and so he cased such places to see what alarm system they had. He knew leaving his car near the scene may have aroused suspicion so he would park 2 or 3 miles away and run to the premises, carrying his tools in a backpack. He figured police were less likely to stop a jogger out for a run. 
He used the backpack to carry the cash away as well. Jogging a mile or so and hiding the swag somewhere. He then jogged on to his car went home, if he got stopped in his car he had no stolen goods. Later in the morning he would collect the cash and take it home.

He had installed a floor safe under his fridge where he kept the cash. Without the admission we had nothing, even if we had been able to have searched his place it was highly unlikely we would have pulled out the fridge and lifted the lino to reveal the safe. He also admitted the jobs in the other force. 
Really smart and well planned burglar. 
Inevitably he did a few years inside for his troubles. 

[Sceptre + 2,704]

The complexity and quality of workmanship in some professional cannabis farms is very impressive. Lots of thought put into the design, concealment, managing ventilation and smell, sophisticated ways of abstracting electricity etc. Clearly an expensive business. 

[DodgeRam + 81]

One of my favourites, for shear balls is:

Man orders Chinese take away on his own mobile phone number, delivered to his own house. Man gets delivery at the door and takes food, tells the driver won't be a minute, just getting the money. Man takes the food, empties it out of the delivery tubs onto his dinner plates and puts the lids back on the delivery tubs before returning them all into the bag. Man goes back to the front door and tells the delivery driver the order is wrong, I don't want it now. Delivery driver dually takes the bag back from the man and goes back to the restaurant. It's not until the boss goes into the bag to see what the problem is that they realise the bloke has taken all the food out the tubs and given them back empty packaging!